


all alone

by MrGrumpyGills43



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe- No prank, Depression, Hallucinations, M/M, Psychosis, Sam is the mother friend, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 12:42:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5829388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrGrumpyGills43/pseuds/MrGrumpyGills43
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been four long months.. Four months with no contact, no speaking, no seeing each other, nothing. It was the longest that they had been apart since the third grade.</p><p>Josh doesn't like being away from Chris. At all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all alone

It had been four long months.. Four months with no contact, no speaking, no seeing each other, nothing. It was the longest that they had been apart since the third grade.

Every day was like a age-old wound being torn open again and again. There was no one to cuddle up to during a scary movie. No one to share corny jokes with or tease about odd little quirks with. And oh, how Joshua missed it.

He hadn’t been the same since that night that Chris left. He hadn’t been able to get out of bed until Sam let herself in, gently prodding him to eat and take a shower. The house they had shared was a complete mess, piles of junk gathered in every corner. Chris was always the one to clean. He knew Josh would get too distracted or just end up on the floor asleep. He set a place for the blond to eat at every time he had the energy to eat, until he realized that Chris wasn’t there.

He called Chris’s phone everyday, most of the time hanging up after the first ring. Once or twice though, he let it go to voicemail and left a message. Often sappy things like “I miss you,” or “I can’t stop thinking about you.” He never did get a response, even when his message was laced with apology upon apology.

Nights were the worst. He hadn’t been doing very well with his medication in the first place, and when his bro left, it just made matters worse. Hallucinations would come barging in, mainly Chris’s voice nowadays. Always pleading with him or yelling at him, there was never a real inbetween. Creatures would stir along the walls, the darkness morphing into more sentient beings. He would force himself into a state of non-being, where he didn’t have to deal with anything coming at him.

Sam was the only one that visited anymore. She checked on him at least once a week, often times more if she wasn’t busy with schoolwork. She never chided him or got onto him, only muttered soft comforts.

Once in a while Ashley would visit, her eyes chockfull of tears and her mouth overflowing with confessions. Josh could never stand those times. They were too painful. He usually put a pillow over his head until she left, never in the mood for her excuses and whines.

-

Then it’s six months with no contact. On his daily ritual of calling the other boy, someone picks up. Someone who is obviously not Chris. “Hello? Who’s this?” A soft voice could be heard on the other line.

Josh gulps. Did Chris finally move on from him? Was this Chris’s new significant other? The silence stretches on before he remembers he needs to talk. “I-I’m calling for C-Chris Richardson?” Just saying those two words tore his heart open.

“Oh, I remember hearing about that in the news,” they clucked, sounding more sure. “It was a six car pile up, right? I’m taking it that you were his boyfriend?”

The brunet felt his world still. Six car pile up? Chris? No that couldn’t be right. He let out a weak chuckle, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, but I think that you’re confused. Chris is just alive, he’s just ignoring me. Can you put him on the phone, please? I really need to talk to him.”

“He’s not here. It’s just me and my dog. Listen, it sounds like you’re in some pretty big denial right now so I’m going to go. Just.. Look up ‘Chris Richardson wreck’ okay? It will fill in the spaces,” they explained before hanging up, leaving Josh with the empty air that followed.

He stared at the phone for a while, debating on whether or not to follow the instructions that were given to him. It wouldn’t hurt to look it up, right? They were probably just trying to pull his leg or something.

He pulled up the internet app on his phone and looked up what was told to him, the first article instantly catching his eye.

“One Lucky Survivor in Six Car Pile Up. Josh Washington saved by Boyfriend Chris Richardson.”

The two sentences was all that was needed for everything to start coming back to Josh. They were heading to the airport to get away for the winter, everything already freezing them to their bones. Then Chris hit a slick spot, the car swerved and swerved until it became apparent that they were going to hit another car head on.

The blond managed to mumble one last thing before throwing himself over Josh, though. The three words that he would never be able to hear again.

I love you.

Josh clutched his head in his hands, letting out a strangled scream. This couldn’t be real, it was impossible. Chris was just ignoring him, that was all. He had to go and make everything better. It would work this time.

Hot tears streamed down his tan cheeks. He had to do this, he had to be with Chris again. He slowly stumbled out of his bed, heading to the kitchen. It was the only way, it was what the voices pleaded for every night.

His blank eyes scanned the kitchen until he found what he was looking for. He pulled the large knife over to him, a humorless smile finding it’s way onto his face. “See you soon, Cochise,” he promised before plunging the weapon into his chest.

-

He woke up some time later to a beeping noise, and the familiar feeling of being alone. He was faced with a stark white room, his body hooked up to a multitude of machines.

A nurse walking by caught sight of him moving and went to go fetch the doctor. A youngish looking woman soon popped in, a soft smile already plastered onto her face. “Hi, Joshua is it? You’ve been out for quite a while. It was lucky that your friend found you in time,” she reassured, moving to check his vitals.

The nurse came in with a glass of water, placing it on the boy’s nightstand.

“I’ll call your friend to let her know that you’re awake. You appear to be doing okay,” the doctor mumbled, writing something down on a clipboard. “Until then, rest up. Don’t wear yourself out,” she instructed, leaving without another word.

Josh waited for what only felt like a few short minutes, but was probably more of an hour or two, before Sam finally popped in. She looked more tired than relieved, making Josh feel even more guilty for pulling this again. She took the seat next to him, reaching over to grab his hand. “How are you doing, Josh?” She asked carefully.

He resisted pulling his limb away, deciding to look down into his lap. “I-is what,” he paused, clearing his throat. “Is what I read really t-true? Did he really..” He trailed off, biting hard into his lip to refrain from crying.

Sam sighed, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. “I didn’t want to force you to remember, to go through that pain again,” she explained, trying to meet his hues. “I’m sorry that you had to find out that way.”

He stilled, eyes falling shut. Sam knew. Sam knew the entire time and didn’t tell him. She _lied_ to him. Deliberately. He tore his hand away and pointed to the door. “Get out,” he spat out lowly.

“Josh, what are you-”

“Get out!” He was yelling now, tears spilling over his eyelashes. “Get out, get out, get out!” He repeated, not caring that he was getting the attention of nurses and doctors.

Sam stood, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean-” She cut herself off before turning tail and leaving the room.

 _Good riddance_ , he thought, not noticing the numerous doctors and nurses surrounding him. They were giving him a shot, knocking him out again. This is what he deserved, to be treated like a prisoner. He didn’t deserve care or love. Not when the only person he wanted it from was dead.

He didn’t deserve anything good.


End file.
